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16 October 2018


10 historical facts about sex those will shock you

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We like to think that history, for the most part, was populated by prudes who had sex through holes in their bedsheets. Sure, there was some kinky shit going on in Rome, but really it was all just stuffy people wearing uncomfortable dresses and monocles, being all philosophical and smart, right? Well, not quite.

Axar.az presents according to the post on cracked.com, there were so many nasty things going on.

1. 19th century doctors treated a lot of women for hysteria.

They would treat it by giving them a handle. The symptoms of ''hysteria'' were moodiness, nervousness, irritability, and a ''tendency to cause trouble.'' The cure? Doctor hand induced orgasm. Their tired hands led to the invention of the vibrator.

2. Do you think England in the 1800s was all formal dances and coy repartee?

There was actually a ton of extramarital sex going on. And it went right to the top. Only one of Mad King George's 13 children was legally married, yet he had at least 19 and possibly as many as 56 illegitimate grandchildren.

3. In 1501, Pope Alexander VI held the banquet of chestnuts.

The chestnuts were being collected by 50 naked hookers. But picking up chestnuts off the floor wasn't the evening's only nut-related activity. Trained observers were present to keep track of the total number and quality of the party-goers' ejaculations.

4. Mozart was a musical genius with 600 masterpieces to his name.

And two of his songs were about ass licking.

5. The real Lawrence of Arabia was a statesman, a war hero, and a talented author.

One of the things he wrote about was how he liked being beaten. Lawrence would pay a man to beat him, and take careful notes. His autobiographical book, The Seven Pillars of Wisdom, contains a graphic scene in which he's captured by the Turks and then brutally raped. Scholars think that scene might have been fantasy.

6. Ancient Romans loved to decorate with a good luck charm called a ''fascinus.''

It was a dick with wings. The winged dongs were symbols of protection against evil, so the Romans hung them everywhere- above doorways, on walls in marketplaces, on wind chimes - wherever demonic entities might have emerged.

7. In 1904, Britain and France signed the Entente Cordiale, ending 1000 years of animosity.

And all because Edward VII liked French prostitutes. A particular French brothel built a special chair to support his bulk while he had sex with several women at a time.

8. Albert Einstein is the most famous scientist on the planet.

He was also a huge horndog. Even though he was married twice (once to his cousin), he cheated on both of his wives with about 10 different women. In his defense, he presented his first wife with a list of rules, one of which was ''expect neither intimacy nor fidelity.''

9. The Congress of Vienna was an important gathering of European leaders.

There was also so much sex. The conference was a nine-month summit in 1814, upon the fall of Napoleon's first empire. Leaders determined Europe's future by getting drunk and embarking on sexual shenanigans including turning inns into what locals described as ''fucking-shops.''

10. The Bible is a sacred text full of chaste lessons and piety.

There's a lot of freaky sex. Lot's daughter seduced their own father. Jacob sleeps with two sisters and their handmaid. Judah has sex with his daughter-in-law. And "Song of Solomon" is a book-long treatise about how much he likes breasts.

Date
2017.06.13 / 14:48
Author
Axar.az
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