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The poems of Faiq Balabayli

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Faiq Balabeyli ( Seferov Faiq Aghash oghlu): Born on February 23, 1964, in Sabirabad village of Jalilabad district of the Republic of Azerbaijan.

After finishing secondary school he entered Azerbaijan State Marine Academy. Afterwards he graduated from faculty of creation of Baku Slavic University,

For years he took different post in Caspian Sea Oil Fleet, he is ship captain.

He is engaged in poetry since youth years. He is a member of Azerbaijan Writers’ Union since 1996. He is a correspondent of “Literary newspaper” attached the Writers Union. He is a constitutor of “Musteqil.Az” site. He worked as journalist in different newspapers. He was the editor –in-chief of the newspapers of “ Yeni kheber” ( “News”) and “ Milletin sesi” ( “The voice of nation” ).

He is the author of 7 books. His poems have been translated into Russian, Hebrew, Georgian, English, Turkish, Persian language. He has translated some Russian poets’ poems into Azerbaijani. He is President grant holder.

He has been honored with literary prizes “ Shahmar Ekberzade” “ Memmed Araz”

Faiq Balabeyli

Motherland

I caressed you in this way-

I didn’t cherished anything

I didn’t fondled anything

Like these stony walls

Like these wet walls

That I rubbed my face every day

I saw you in this way

I didn’t look around

Above those walls…

I am not so tall

To look to other side of these walls

The places of other side

Of these walls

Aren’t to my heart’s content.

I missed you in this way

I rubbed my hands to your stones,

Thorns stung my knees.

I stared at your forests,

I leaned against your trees

I turned my heart

Towards the Aras

I let the pains of you

Pass through my inside.

I loved you in this way

As the clouds yawned

As the rains didn’t stop

As the grey clouds

Didn’t fall out with you…

I loved you in this way

I fondled you so

I missed you in this way

I lived with you so-

Motherland!

including “ Red pen” prize.

Don’t cry for me!

Don’t cry for me,

When I was alive

I caused you to weep.

I pulled your hair,

Banged your head against the wall.

I insulted you

With the words

You didn’t want to hear.

With your popped out eyes,

With your breath not passing through your throat

You wanted to tell me that

You didn’t know I could treat with you so.

Don’t cry for me!

I gifted you the pains

Of your grieving heart.

I have sent you

The grey paths in your hair.

You made me tea,

You cooked my meals,

You loved me, you loved me madly…

Don’t cry for me

I know you miss me

I know you miss me,

You are staring at the road.

Grief signs on joy

And signs under it.

In our village

The trees shed their leaves.

Put your arms around my photo,

Let you tears soak your cheeks.

If wind blows, go outside,

It will bring you my scent.

Being without you

Robbed my dreams.

Look,

My poems smell straw

Tomorrow darkness will fall all around

Come and hold my hands.

Why are you shedding tears

Holding my photo before your eyes?

Ah, my photo has been wet,

My darling, what is it? Are you crying?

You left

You left and took with you

A sip of joy you had brought with you.

After your leave

All around was covered in darkness

As if I am soaked under rain drops.

The ships sank in ports,

All lights were switched off.

Just now I understood that

Once I looked through my fingers at life

But now I look at life

Through railings of prison…

Now I realized

Life had been nice
And days spent with you

Were fine.

You left

And I understood that

Since this moment

I live a prisoner’s live

And I carry in my heart

The feeling of being without you.

Confession

How you can know,

How I lived without you.

What I thought being without you...

I know, I didn’t value you

I didn’t tell you sweet words.

On your birthday

I didn’t buy a bouquet of flowers to you.

I became the man of your dreams,

But I didn’t let you know about it.

I caused you to cry,

But I didn’t cause you to smile.

I didn’t read you the poems

That I dedicated to you.

I know how I treated with you.

I made tears roll down your cheeks.

I brought tears to your eyes.

And I gifted grief to your hart.

You loved me madly

I didn’t know why you loved me.

Now I realized

The world isn’t worth to your tear.

I understood that

The life is meaningless

Without you…

Now I remember

How much I hurt you.

Surely you pressed my photo

Against your breast…

Your eyelashes joined one another

I looked at everything superficially

You didn’t get interested deeply.

I loved you so much

Even the God couldn’t love his creature so.

You could bear my tortures

Even the God couldn’t bear so much

I know you wait for me,

Each time when I returned home late

You reflection remained on window…

Surely now you are at the window

Instead of flowerpots.

I wish if only

The past days returned back.

I have little hopes for future…

Darkness creeps behind the future,

It is autumn and winter

Following future.

No, you know everything,

You know how I grieve.

You know what I think without you

You know

I know I didn’t value you.

.. I loved you so much

Even the God couldn’t love his creature so.

I know that

You loved me madly

I don’t know

Why you loved me...

Date
2017.11.24 / 13:59
Author
Faiq Balabeyli
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